


Warmth

by Ayumu (396Ayumu)



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Birthday Party, But you won't cry it was just me, Crying, Gen, Happy Ending, Happy birthday Mitsuki I love you, Hugs, I cried writing this, Mitsuki love yourself more, POV First Person, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 15:09:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17983448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/396Ayumu/pseuds/Ayumu
Summary: Life feels cold when you're alone, but connections to others will keep you warm.





	Warmth

The recording light in the radio studio finally went out.

“Thank you for your hard work!”, I say as I stand up and bow to the producing team. They all smile at me, return the polite greetings and bid me farewell. I flash a brief smile at them, brief enough so that my current state of mind doesn't carry over with it. It's late, it's Sunday, and I've been working non-stop all day. Plus, it's my birthday. I never expected that receiving empty well-wishes throughout a whole day would be so exhausting.

I leave the studio and head to the entrance, where I put on my shoes and all my winter clothes. I say goodbye to a passing member of the staff and head out, head home. Finally.

The cold air of a winter night greets me as I step outside. The street lights feel dimmer than ever as I walk along the street, the cold seeping into my bones. I look up. The only thing I can see is my white breath: there's no stars, no moon, it's all cloudy and dark. It feels depressing.

I shiver in spite of all the layers I'm wearing. I adjust my gloves, pull my hat down a bit, and wrap my mouth and nose with my scarf. The gloves Iori bought for me, the scarf Nagi gifted me, the rainbow hat I got from IDOLiSH7. It feels warmer now.

I had wanted to bake a cake and eat it with them, with my closest friends, but I ended up not having time for that. As I walk along the street, I can see that the bakeries are already shut down for the day, making the little hope I had left dissipate into the night. Not like there was a chance to actually celebrate my birthday, since everyone had work today. Weekends have become crazy since we debuted, but I don't regret it. I'd rather have no free time and be with IDOLiSH7 than the opposite.

As my mind wanders towards happy memories, I get closer and closer to the dorm. I can't see any lights from outside, so I guess I'm the first one to get back. Well, at least I can cook dinner for everyone. Maybe we can even eat together.

I fumble for my keys in my pocket and I open the door. I take off my gloves, my scarf, my hat, my coat, and hang them by the entrance. I flip the light switch on, but the light stays off. Great. Just what I needed. I thought I'd cheered up somewhat, but I can feel something crumbling inside me and my mood turning worse. All the warmth I felt before, gone.

I turn on my phone's torch to illuminate the hallway and head towards the light box in the living room. Why did this have to happen? Why did it have to happen _today?_ I'm tired. I'm lonely. I wanted to spend my birthday with people I care about and it's going to pass by just like any other day. _Worse_ than any other day.

I sigh and laugh weakly, laugh at myself. So much for never giving up. So much for being the energy of the team. I'm no good. Do I even deserve to be here? My head feels muddled. My eyes feel warm, and tears have gathered on them. I sniff and wipe them with my sleeve.

At this moment, I step on the living room. Before I have a chance to shine the torch inside, all the lights turn on. The whole group is there. Iori, holding a cake, right in front of me. Nagi, with a party hat, about to throw confetti at me. Riku and Tamaki, also with party hats, holding a bunch of party blowouts each. Yamato-san, drinking beer next to the light box. Sougo, approaching me and putting a party hat on my head while I just stupidly stand there, dumbfounded.

I hear Yamato-san's voice. “Okay, guys. One, two...” and then everyone shouts, “Happy birthday Mitsuki!”. And I receive confetti on my face.

My emotions finally catch up to the situation, and tears gather on my eyes again. But I don't wipe them this time. They fall, fall, fall and keep falling, taking all my stress away with them. I feel loved. I feel appreciated. I feel _good._

“Nii-san?!” Iori sounds worried. I don't blame him. I'd be worried too.

“Mitsuki! What's wrong _?_ Are you not _happy_? _”_ Nagi speaks up as well. I laugh and wipe my tears, but my eyes are soon wet yet again, and the tears keep falling.

“No... I'm happy. I just had a bad day. And now... I'm really happy.” I'm pretty sure I'm not making sense, but there's nothing I can do. My emotions are bubbling up and overflowing, and my head feels fuzzy. Ah, it's not good. I can't stop my tears. I don't want to. It feels good. I laugh.

Nagi and Tamaki don't look convinced at all, though. They look at each other and nod, and then wrap me in a hug. Everyone else gradually joins the group hug as well. Even the old man. Ah, how warm. I'm getting squished, though.

“Mitsuki, are you really _okay?”_ Nagi asks once the hug is over. He made it last until my tears stopped, and that took a while, geez. I feel shor- ahem. _Less tall_ than before.

“Yeah, I'm okay. I wanted to do something on my birthday, but I've been working a lot this week so I had no time to prepare anything. And when I got here, I thought I was alone, but you guys surprised me. I was just overwhelmed. I just... Thank you for everything, guys.” Oh man, I'm crying again.

“Mikki, here.” Tamaki hands me an Ousama pudding handkerchief. I chuckle as he pulls my hand, sits me down on the table and starts putting food in front of me. “If you eat, you'll feel better.”

“Thank you, Tamaki.” I wipe my eyes with the pudding handkerchief. Everyone is staring at me now, and it feels awkward.

I take a deep breath, “Okay!”, and clap my hands once. “Let's eat!”

The food tastes good, though it's a bit spicy. I bet Sougo made it. Ah, Tamaki is complaining to him now. We keep chatting while we eat, and the dinner gradually comes to an end.

“I didn't expect a surprise party, though, who planned this?”

I notice that Tamaki starts counting with his fingers. “Sou-chan made dinner and I helped. Iorin made the cake. Yama-san bought the party stuff... and Rikkun and Nagicchi decorated everything.”

“ _Yes!_ We all worked together to prepare it! Since you always do a lot for us, we wanted to do something for _you_.” Nagi smiles. He's as bright as always. Damn him.

“The least we could do was prepare something, Mitsuki-san. Come on, Yamato-san, bring that over.”

“I'm coming, I'm coming. Geez, Sou, don't rush me. I'm old.” I roll my eyes. So exaggerated, as always. “Here you go, Mitsu. From all of us.”

The old man hands me a gift, wrapped in orange paper. It has a ribbon and a card attached to it. The card has _Happy birthday, Mitsuki!_ written on one side, and all the members' signatures on the other. I'm already happy. “Thanks, everyone.”

I carefully open the wrapping paper from one side and take the gift out. It's a pair of white, fluffy earmuffs, with a musical flat symbol on either side, embroidered in orange thread. It makes me think back to how warm and comfortable it felt to wear the gloves, the hat, the scarf. My eyes get watery again, but I stop myself from crying. “I love it, guys. Thank you. Thank you so much”.

“Yay! I'm so happy you like it! We wanted you to be able to wear it with your hat, so we thought white would be good. Ah, and Iori came up with embroidering the symbols! Cute, right? And-”

“Nanase-san! I told you to keep that a secret!” Oh, a flustered Iori. How cute.

“But why would you want to keep it a secret?”

“Because-!”

“Okay, Ichi, Riku, stooop! Don't fight, and let's eat the cake.”

Iori and Riku stop fighting, and Iori places the cake in front of me. I don't know where he got it from, but Sougo has a kitchen lighter on his hand, and starts lighting up the candles.

“Make a wish, Mitsuki!” Riku seems more excited than me.

“I know that you're not supposed to say it out loud,” I see that everyone is focusing on my words, so I smile and continue, “so I won't say it out loud”.

Everyone complains. Sorry, guys, but I want it to come true.

_I wish IDOLiSH7 stays together forever!_

I blow the candles out.

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MITSUKI!
> 
> I love you and your smiles, and I wish you'd love yourself more. Thank you for existing, tiny little sunshine.
> 
> And to everyone who read this far, thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed reading this. Comments are, as always, greatly appreciated.


End file.
